You want each tree

Nicole Scott
Featured image: untitled © Amanda McHugh 2019

Today I failed again
at birthing another tribe
A failed family farm
for success and world changing
but exclusive for myself
I press charges against myself
like stamps, like brands
for failure of recognizing
other hearts are not also mine
Turns out birth isn’t the same as theft
I will extend myself
I have learned
from sprout to elder
oak and dogwood—
I am a mother of many
or something like that
That something like that is a realization
I’ve trained my eyes to enslave
like mud caking cheap sneakers
where moms forgot to mother
children, they are animated things
My roots are spider legs
Nobody knows how I weave
so fast, so adamantly
I made a honeymoon apron too
It’s that time of year where I get it
I get unjustly motivated
The wet dark in me wins out
and drills deep inside my eyes
Dirt moves like smoke in them
Falling into crevices
Until they look like veins and just are
The trees are thirsty today
Autumn was ignored
No more rings
No more stolen bark and roots
No more selfish death fire.